I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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