There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
