one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
