she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
