I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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