awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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