I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
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