Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My bed smells like the plague
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
