bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Randomize
