on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
