i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Acid is not a monday night drug
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
