I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We left an ass print on the piano.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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