i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
