I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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