Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
