i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
