How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
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He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
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Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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