Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
