They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
