Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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