Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
