Got a toothbrush?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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