How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
