I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
