he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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