I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
