I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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