I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize