IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
