You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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