this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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