Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
