I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
