i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
