Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
