its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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