Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
