So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
