That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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