Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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