Pregnant stripper...not hot.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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