There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
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i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize