Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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