I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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