Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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