She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
