plz talk dirty to me
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
