so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
