So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
