You're so nebulous sometimes
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
