Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
