Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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