tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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