i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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