I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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