My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
