Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
